Peace Prayer

This prayer, below the picture, is one of my favorites. I found it when I was nineteen. I was seeking solace as I sat at the foot of the bed, of my dying mother. The paper that it is written on, is as faded as the painful memories of that time in my life. What remains are the lessons that I learned. I try to resolve bad feelings and forgive quickly. I also try to express my love often and never part without letting loved ones know that we are all right with each other. I am in no way perfect and sometimes it takes a little longer than I would prefer. I pray that no matter what happens, my family and friends know that my motto in life, is this "I truly believe that everyone does the best that they can, given all of the circumstances of their lives." I like to think that, just as God reminds us, the sparrows neither toil nor spin and He takes care of them, physically, we may not need to toil and spin so much to grow spiritually. I ask God to take my blunders and my unfinished growth and use it for good. I ask anyone who happens to read this to remember how much I loved them.

 

 

If you find peace, it will be in your own heart. One big enough to hold what peace is. The melody of love, the calmness of an approving conscience, the serenity of a single faith, the composure of courage, the tranquility of self acceptance, the repose of unselfishness, the harmony of being in tune with one's self.

ADELE - 'Make You Feel My Love'

It's not a special day. Not an anniversary or a birthday. Just a night when she came. It was to borrow some clothes. She had gained weight. Of course you can, it's been so long since you went away. You can have anything...anything. Just please come again. I pushed her long brown hair back and kissed her sweet cheeks. All pink and soft like the roses that are in my garden, as I speak. She put on some khaki pants and a striped shirt of mine. They were a little too big, but that was just fine. She left with the clothes and it left me with the tears.
It's been a long time since I've had a dream. Was it because I took a photo of the rose yesterday, that reminded me of her cheeks? Or is it because I've had some silk roses in the back of my car, that need to be put at her grave, for weeks? Pangs of guilt hit me as I took the groceries out of it last night, in the dark. The white roses glowed by the light of the trunk. Maybe it's because I realized that I had not sent the Sympathy card or the Thinking of You card I meant to send to a friend. For whatever the reason, good or bad, I don't really care. I'm just glad she made it there.
I think of her so many times and keep the sadness to myself. Can't have anyone saying how bad I took it. I think of her so many times and want to share how much I love her and miss her. Don't want anyone to think I've forgotten her! Grief is such a tricky thing. You can never do it just right to please anyone else. So I don't try. It is what it is. I decided a long time ago to feel sad when I am sad and happy when I'm happy. That's the only way I know that at least my grief will be true.
I got up and put on my ipod, did a workout to songs in a shuffle. The dream and her memory lingered throughout the sweat and steps. When I was finished, as I was walking up the stairs to shower and get ready for the day, the random song that played next was "To make you feel my love" by Adele. That's when I really lost it! I will tell you that she is near. Really near. Damn Brain Aneurysm!