Shhhhhh it happens



Storms can be beautiful!

My hobbies and fun

!



The joys of my life





The love of my life





Adam's children



Woody and 3 of the 11 grandchildren hunting doves

In my last entry "Thanksgiving" I tried to convey the depth of my gratitude. I re-read my post and felt as if something was missing. I thought that in order to understand it fully, I would have to re-write it and explain every way in which the losses had affected my life. The sacrifices, changes, disappointments and lack would have to be laid out. As I began, it dawned on me that I didn't even want to "go there". I didn't want to make the long laundry list of grievances, yet once again. I knew then, that I had truly changed. No longer did I want to think and repeat the negatives. I didn't want to reinforce and ignite the self pity that drove my life, so far. I wanted to live, not waste time in the past. I wanted to "be" in the "now". On the day of this new awakening, I was filled with positive energy and looked forward to my day, my life. I bounced out of the house and drove to work. My mind wandered to the wonderful blessings of the past. I began to dream of the bright future ahead. A trickle of fear crept in and I thought "Oh! This is too good to be true and it won't last for very long. Something will come along to knock me down. Be prepared, brace yourself. Try to hold onto this wonderful feeling of hope." I figured that I would just be ready for it and it wouldn't rob me of my joy. Sure enough one hour later I stepped in a hidden pile of dog mess on the lady's rug that I was vacuuming and then proceeded to run over it with the vacuum cleaner. Oh Yuck! How appropriate that the first downer would be "shit". Yes "shit happens" as they say. It does. I laughed as I cleaned it up, on the carpet, my shoe and inside the vacuum cleaner. Not my usual attitude. OK! I realize that life isn't perfect, but I'll be damned if I'll let it steal my happiness. When I stack my ups and downs next to each other, I see, if I choose to, that the positive "pile" is higher and brighter and the negative "pile" is, well, you know........